How can we ignore?

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Everyday she wakes up, prays fajr and makes dua for her children

Everyday, she strives to teach them the right way to bring them a little more closer to Allah(swt)

Everyday, she ends the day with thoughts of her children on her mind. Did she do right by them? Did she say the right thing? Do the right thing?

Everyday, she fears saying or doing anything that will distance them from her or Allah(swt)

And

Everyday, her children’s greatest enemy lays out a plot for them

Every day, he is is plotting to use their desires and their fears against them.

Every day, he accompanies them even when she is not there with them, whispering evil thoughts in their minds and hearts

Children…often unaware….that this is a plot..this is a deception…are trapped!

He plays games with their minds…

Sometimes using despair…sometimes using hope

Sometimes using truth …. and sometimes using lies
Sometimes making good look bad and sometimes bad look good

Slowly and steadily..he keeps on working his long plans

Even though she loves her children so much, the devil’s attacks on her mind sometimes can lead her to give up, and she gives in…even though she knows it will hurt her children
But the enemy, he never gives up.

Even if he sees the children doing salah, reading Quran, being righteous. He doesn’t give up!

He promised Allah that he will attack them on the straight path and thats what he does
He attacks them even more…

His plans are even more devious and deceptive now

He is relentless, and he has years of experience and knowledge

How can we leave your children ignorant of the ways of their worst enemy?

The enemy who attacks them day and night

Children need to be taught the tricks and traps shaitan lays down for them

The psychological games he plays with them to sink them into hellfire and filth in this life

Allah warned us about him and ordered us to take him as an enemy

إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ لَكُمْ عَدُوٌّ فَاتَّخِذُوهُ عَدُوًّا إِنَّمَا يَدْعُو حِزْبَهُ لِيَكُونُوا مِنْ أَصْحَابِ السَّعِيرِ

“Indeed, Satan is an enemy to you; so take him as an enemy. He only invites his party to be among the companions of the fire.” (35:6)

We must teach our children to take him as an enemy and help empower them with knowledge of his tricks and traps so they can bring him down before he brings them down.

May Allah(swt) help us in giving our children the knowledge and tools to themselves from the attacks of shaitan. Ameen

If you missed any of the videos I sent you for your children over the past few days, to help you arm them against the tricks of shaitan, you can catch up here.

Share with others and help their children benefit too, remember. Allah helps those who are helping others.

InshaAllah this week I will tell you how we can take this education further.

Let’s be each other’s allies against the fight against our worst enemy!

JazakAllah Khair

Ariba Farheen

Halloween

One of the reasons its very difficult for children to understand why we can’t celebrate halloween, etc .. is…

Well, the problem isn’t that they want to dress up and go door to door.

Which is really all the children are thinking about. That is all that their intention is about.

So, actually, if you think about it, they aren’t even doing something wrong.

The parent’s problem is the origin mostly, but really to the child thats irrelevant as they neither did they know about it nor do they care about it.

So how do you make your childcare about that?

Why should they care about it?
How do they make them care about it?

You want them to stand against something because its origin is a lie, lie against Allah(SWT)

Because a Muslim stands for the truth, not lies
Because it is a matter of the integrity of a Muslim

Then … your child is going to look at you, see the person with high integrity in their daily life or hypocrisy in what you are saying.

And then based on what they will find, they will either continue arguing or think about what you have taught them…

Isn’t that true?

This is not to discourage you to talk to them, or to make you feel bad

But this is just to remind you, that if you talk to them about this issue.. don’t make them feel as if they are a bad muslim for wanting to celebrate Halloween

Recognize that their desire or even their intention is not haram.

But what you want them to be is at the highest level of honesty, at the highest level of integrity before Allah(swt)
You want to look on with joy as they are called as As- Siddique on the day of judgment,- and to become that, they can’t stand today and celebrate a lie.

Secondly, help the reflect on what is it that they want? Why do they want to celebrate? Its fun to dress up, all my friends are doing it, I will be odd one out if I don’t do it, I will feel left out. I will miss out on the fun..

So, in the end, its about fun, its about friendships
Remind them, isn’t Allah the one who gives you friends? Couldn’t he put more love in the hearts of your friends for you? Couldn’t he give you many more friends?Couldn’t he give you a lot more fun?

Why don’t you ask him. I gave this up for you o Rabb,give me much better than this

Then be sure that

HE WILL GIVE YOU MUCH BETTER THAN YOU GAVE FOR HIS SAKE.

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36+69=? Would you let your kid grow up without knowing the answer to this?

When we are not okay with our kids growing up without maths, Why are we okay with them growing up without knowing the names of Allah?

As knowing Math is the fundamental of many career paths, the fundamental of Emaan is knowing the names & attributes of Allah. Knowing the Rabb, will only help your kids grow closer to him and at the same time build better characteristics.

You helped your kid learn math, similarly, Gift your kids this basic fundamental, which will help them succeed in this life and hereafter too.

Help your kids raise their Emaan faster

 

Is your kid’s Emaan weak right now? They are not motivated or eager to offer salah? And they only do so to please the parents? The reason for this is they are distant from Allah and his numerous attributes.

They have to know Allah, to love Allah. They need to know Allah, to worship Allah. They need to know Allah, to make dua to Allah.

Give them the knowledge of their Rabb, to help them be self-motivated towards Salah and every other good deed.

Through our video series, we will make the kids understand the depth of Allah’s names, help them see the attributes in the world around them and themselves.

Single factor that DOUBLES the chance of depression and anxiety in your kids.. and it will shock you!

Researchers at Oxford university  have discovered one single factor that can double the chance of your children developing anxiety and depression

It is bad sibling relationships 

The researchers suggested that 13.0% of depression and 19.3% of self-harm could be explained by being the victim of sibling bullying

Sibling bullying on an average was found to have started at the age of 8

Words hurt a lot more

People might often ignore the name calling, the frequent mocking, or treating other like a nuisance, thinking its “NORMAL” “They don’t mean it”

But these are exactly what researchers found to be the most common type of bullying and main causes of deep negative impact on the children, who had internalised the pain of being constantly abused by their siblings

How many scars are left in the hearts of your children by the words they hear from their sibling?

Is it worse hearing such words of disrespect, mocking from a stranger or from a sibling?

I am sure, you yourself may have experienced this at times, seemingly minor statement or joke from someone else that stabbed your heart, or damaged your self esteem.

Imaging living everyday like this?

Things to check in your children for growing negative impacts of bullying:

  • Is there a shift in behavior?
  • Is the child feeling unmotivated, tired?
  • Are they more angry then before? More agitated?
  • Confidence and self esteem not developing
  • Is the fighting increasing and becoming more vicious?
  • Grades falling, getting more anxious?
  • Having trouble making friends? Feeling more shy than usual?

Our relationship with our siblings is the longest relationship and insha’Allah can be the strongest relationship we have in our life

Islam puts great importance in this relationship, puting it right after our parents

It is critical to help your children develop a healthy and strong relationship with each other. Ofcourse much of how they are going to be with each other depends on your parenting skills.

However there are a few things children can be and should be taught

  • Empathy for each other
  • Conflict resolution , so they can resolve their conflicts in a healthy manner
  • Value of a sibling in their life
  • Status and reward of maintaining this relationship
  • Importance of seeking peace in a family even if it means compromising
  • Islamic virtues of forgiveness, mercy and generosity towards your siblings
  • Steps from sunnah to increase love in their hearts for each other
  • Role models from the greatest stories of companions and the prophets

These are just some of the core values that your children will be learning in the upcoming class Unbreakable.

This is a powerful, much needed class for children which is much needed in today’s times to give children the tools and knowledge to overcome the challenges they are facing

This is the kind of classes and islamic education our children need today, giving them practical advice from the Quran and sunnah to help them be best friends for life

If you are interested, here is the link for more information on this online class

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tabeer’s Khalifa Project

Tabeer, MashaAllah Tabeer performed excellently in every assignment of the Science in the kingdom of Allah course, and when it came time for Khalifa Project she was did not 1 but 3!
 
She did a beach clean up with her sister, then she wrote a letter and took that to her local stores, asking them to stop using plastic bags. Who were pleasantly surprised and welcoming. They invited Tabeer to be part of their next meeting!
May Allah(swt) increase her in all goodness and make her a light for the world.

Zainab and Sarah

Sarah and Zainab from Pakistan, had some very creative ideas.
They made beautiful dustbins (as you can see pictures here ), the also made  posters that they put up in different places , made bookmarks. Thats not it! They also raised money for the poor and bought food for them!
These are the shining stars of our Ummah, May Allah(swt) increase them in all goodness and make the great leaders of our ummah.

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Dawah Projects (Company Of RasulAllah(saws) Course 2017

Jasim Shah Aeroplan Dawah!

Jasim – “Like the aeroplanes go high, learning the hadith raises you. “

Sameeha’s Cup Cakes and Card Dawah

 

Aisha, Samarah, Suleiman’s – Lollipops with hadiths, Brochures and bookmarks stall at a garage sale 🙂

Khadija’s Balloon’s with flyers Dawah

Moneerah’s Treat Bags With Muslim Inventions Dawah

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Nawal, 12, Stared an Islamic Blog as her dawah project…

Please visit the blog, and leave some encouraging comments for her.

I am sure it would mean A LOT to her and be a great motivator for her to keep going.
Please do share the blog with your children too and they may love to learn from someone their age 🙂
http://islaminthebasics.weebly.com/blog

Iman’s Dawah Video

Ammar and Omar’s Dawah Project

And Much More Coming From The Students Of Company Of RasulAllah(saws) Course and Future Leaders Of The Ummah 

Why does Allah see us all the time?

This is something that I wrote up, while I was working on the videos for the name of Allah – Al Baseer, All Seeing and its implications for us humans. Ofcourse most of the time we remind children that Allah is watching and that is an important reminder!
But is that it..? So have a read below…(ofcourse, how I teach this to kids in a video is much more fun and powerful than the read below 🙂

Why does Allah see us all the time?
To keep a check on us? Is it surveillance
To know or record what we are doing?
Could angels do that?

Infact angels do actually record everything
So why does he watch us, hear us all the time?
Even when we are sleeping, he is still watching!
Me and you, who are not even as big as an ant compared to Allah, a comparison that is impossible

Then why does he watch you all the time, hear every sound…every heartbeat, every thought

The answer should bring tears to our eyes…
The answer should should truly melt our hearts…

You have a Lord who cares so much about you
This is from his mercy
Not only does he watch over you all the time, he is always there to hear you.

He also tell us that, so many times in the Quran
Allah tells us. He is watching over you. He is hearing you.
All those times you felt lonely, you wished someone would just hear you.
All those times you felt weak and alone
He was always there and He will always be.
You were never alone, and you never will be.

He was still there watching you, hearing you, even when you forgot……
He is never tired of listening to you, even though if we get tired of talking to him.

“He is with you wherever you are.” Surah Hadid

No matter how much a mother loves a child, even she gets bored of listening to them, even she cant watch her child all the time

But Allah never gets tired of listening to you or watching you

What incredible peace does it bring to your heart, knowing that when you leave your loved ones Allah , who loves them far more than you, is watching them.

There are people in this world, who do worship gods who they don’t believe cannot see them all the time or hear them all the time

Imagine what they are missing, not knowing that actually that even them, even them Allah is watching all the time.

Imagine how hard that life is, how alone they can be, not knowing he is always hearing them

Its not that a muslim never feels alone or isolated, but imagine how much more alone these people must be.

and how alone are we when we forget that Allah is Al Baseer and Allah is As Samiy, All hearing, All seeing.

Alhamdulillah that Allah is all seeing, all hearing, all knowing
And Alhamdulillah that He told us about these attributes of his and reminded us of this so many times in the Quran.

“Indeed, You are of us ever Seeing.” 20:35

To end with, this is ofcourse not the ONLY reason Allah watches us, and thats my point, there is a great deal to learn from each of the names of Allah(swt), much of which perhaps we can never even comprehend.

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There is just one more lesson from these names but there much more depth and much more for us to gain from each of the names of Allah, knowing the ONE, we love the most, our Rabb, Allah.

Ramadan Videos For Kids

Comment below, tell me where are you celebrating Ramadan from…

Sign up for future videos -> www.emaanpower.com/ramadan

Ramadan Journal for kids -> www.emaanpower.com/heartwheel

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Video 13

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Video 12

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Video 11

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Video 10

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Help me in this mission to educate children all across the world

Your funds will be used to build better video production facilities, build a video studio, animation software, stock images, graphics,  sponsor students in courses – such as students of single mothers, new muslims parents, others experiencing financial hardships. The funds will help us in distributing these videos to many more children accoross the world InshaAlah.

If you would like to help me continue this work, and improve the quality of Islamic education to children, then please support this ramadan by donating here

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What is your reason to live?

What happens when we make a person, or something, a husband, a wife, a child, success, a goal, a parent, your reason to live?
If you make anyone or anything your reason to live, then know that most likely one day you will lose it, and when that happens what will you be left with?

You will be left with no reason to live…..

There is only one reason for any one of us to live, ONLY one which lives forever – Allah, who is there for you forever, only one purpose for which created for.

Wake up everyday, knowing this is another day He has given you to work for him

I say this today, because recently in my job, as a crisis counselor, I took a call from someone who had made another human her reason to live and now after losing her reason to live, she had nothing left to live for. The pain she was going through cannot be put into words. She had no reason to live, so she kept saying whats the point, even if this pain ends today, whats the point, I am just filling time on earth.

Her pain was enormous, it broke my heart just listening to this stranger. I came back home and cried and cried and cried…

What ached me was not just this woman’s pain but what had led to it.

What ached me was the fact that I KNOW there are millions of more people, good people out there, who are going falling in the same deep hole of pain, yet they don’t know it.

This woman was not muslim but there are still many thousands of muslims in the same place as her.

I don’t even know if she is alive till now or did she really kill herself. All I can do now is make dua for her.

But as I sat to make dua for her, I realised no matter how much I ache for her, no matter how much I care for this stranger, Allah cares for her far far far more than me.

Allah knows every single second of her life. He knows her pain, He is closer to her than anyone else. He is watching over her all the time.

She has forgotten him, but the doors to his love and mercy are still wide open for her.

When we make someone else our reason to live, when we define our entire self worth by someone than we are left with nothing after they leave

To make someone else your reason to live is not only unfair to yourself but also unfair to that person.

Moreover whether its a person or something or some goal, if we make that our reason to live that we have taken the right of Allah and given it to someone else.

Allah has made ease for in the guidance of Islam is ease for us, in ways we cannot even comprehend.

Sahl ibn Sa’d reported: The Angel Gabriel came to the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and he said, “O Muhammad, live as you wish, for you will die. Work as you wish, for you will be repaid accordingly. Love whomever you wish, for you will be separated. Know that the nobility of the believer is in prayer at night and his honor is in his independence of the people.”
We don’t live for some fun, not for some dreams we want to see fulfilled, not for some person. Our dreams, our fun, our love all of that pales in comparison to the greatest desire of our hearts to see our Lord.
Every pain, every suffering, every wonderful thing that happens, every joy, is a learning experience for us, to grow, to grow closer to him.
We want to fill our lives with fun, joy, success, love, but all of that is for him. Ultimately the purpose is just one. So reason to go towards him ends, we still have others, and we are always looking for more.
Our reason to live, lives till the day we die

I looked at myself in disappointment

A long time ago, I looked at myself in disappointment and wondered if I can ever enter Jannah.
The sins just never stop, mistakes just keep happening.

Sometimes new ones, and some times even the same old ones again and again and again.

Then, I realised this is the choice I face.

I faced a choice to be disappointed with myself, hate myself for not being ‘perfect’ or to respect myself for always trying.

And this is what I chose. I chose to keep trying

I decided, fine, I may not rise up on the day of judgment with a perfect record. But that is my goal and I will never stop trying for it.

So on that day maybe I don’t rise up with a clean record, but at the least, InshaAllah i can rise up as a person who never ever stopped trying, never ever stopped trying to please my Lord.

And I hope Allah(swt) the most forgiving will forgive me, because only he knows the true sincerity of intentions. May Allah(swt) help us all in always striving to please him with the most sincere intentions

So now, when I fall, its still hurts, I still cry, I feel the pain, the regret.
But then I move on….atleast I always keep trying to smile emoticon

I remind myself, this is the path you have chosen, you are going to be the one who falls but the one who keeps trying. This is the part of your journey, so just get back up!

One massive mistake that I fell into somewhere in this journey was moving on too fast, getting back up too quick. What do I mean? I mean when you fall, one extremely critical step that you must go through, to help you not fall again, is to FEEL PAIN OF FALLING, to feel the regret of falling, feel the regret of your mistake.

That regret IS itself InshaAllah where even your forgiveness lies.

You cannot lose yourself in this forgivness, you cannot lose the determination to try because of the fear of this pain. But you can also not just skip this pain. There has to be a balance, the pain itself is the fuel that will charge you to try, but too much of it can also sink you completely.

My dear reader, I hope this helps you in some way. May Allah(swt) forgive you and always keep the door to guidance open for you. Ameen

Suicide

I spent the entire day today learning about suicide, as part of some very long training I am doing

I cannot tell you how much my heart aches right now for all the souls who unfortunately we are going to lose today.

I just want say ….

If Allah (swt) forbade you to kill yourself, then know that HE IS GOING to help you come out of whatever incredible pain you are going through. This is the moment of your test, perhaps your greatest test. But along with this test he gave you the strength to overcome your pain. AND YOU CAN HEAL!

This is the moment you prove your love for him, your belief in HIM
This is the moment of trust.

Do you trust HIM(swt)? Then preserve your life.

This life that is NOT solely yours. Because surely others have rights on you. Don’t kill their loved one.

Don’t kill the one your family and friends love. Live to preserve their smile. Live to prove your trust in Allah(swt)

Live to show him, that even when you had no hope, you trusted in him, even when you lost all, you chose to BELIEVE in Him, you chose to BELIEVE in his word.You chose to believe that no matter how far it is, that HE WILL FULFILL His promise and come to your aid

No doubt your pain is immense, it is an incredible burden on you that is crushing you right now, but no matter who you are, what you have done, HE IS WITH YOU! To help you lift this burden His mercy has no bounds.

“Allah does not burden a soul beyond ts capacity” Surah Baqara

Say, “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”

Allah, your lord, is always full of immense mercy for you

“And He is with you wheresoever you may be” Surah Hadid

Death won’t take it away, death would bury you in this immense burden of pain for eternity.

He doesn’t hate you and He has not abandoned you. He is always listening and always answering.

You are alive, you are breathing, Listen to your heart, its still beating, without you telling it to. Its beating because Allah(swt) ordered it to continue beating in your chest. Allah, the lord of the worlds, wants you to live. He wants you to continue, to overcome, to rise. He is still giving you a chance to please him with every breath, to earn a place near him with ever second you are alive.

If Allah, the most powerful, the most merciful wants you to live, than ask him for his help in doing what is pleasing to him, ask him for help in living and have no doubt in the help arriving.

Indeed with hardship comes ease, indeed with hardship comes ease”

You are a part of this world, a part of the good in this world. Don’t take that away from us. We need all the khayr you are yet to bring to this world. Even if it seems like you have got nothing ti give today, who knows whose life you are going to save tomorrow.

Use your pain to draw closer to him, break down in front of him.
But don’t break your trust in HIM(swt)

Perhaps it would be this day today, this show of trust, that will win you the pleasure of Allah more than ever. You wanted to end your life but you didn’t ONLY because you trusted him.

And then look forward to when that day comes, when you finally return to HIM

Than instead of him asking you “Why didin’t you trust him?” Why did you lose hope in him? Why wait even longer help?

No be patient, bare this enormous pain and InshaAllah instead of all those questions, you will InshaAllah get to hear the most beautiful and peaceful words

“O reassured soul,
Return to your Lord, well-pleased and pleasing [to Him],
And enter among My [righteous] servants
And enter My Paradise.” Surah Fajr

Seek help, if not for your sake, then for the sake of those whom you love.

Seek help for the sake of Allah(swt)





Millions of people in this world are struggling today not because of food, clothes, money but because of the questions they have and the answers they just can’t find
Even when they find them, they can’t believe in them

They are trying to gather wisdom through the limited understanding of human beings, find answers through the limited knowledge of a human being

We Muslims on the other hand are the people, who know the answers, sometimes even when we haven’t truly understood the  question yet. But the hardship of seeking that answer has been taken away from us. Quran is the ease for us, which gives us answers to our questions so we never have to turn the wrong way and suffer the consequenses

Today I saw one of those consequences, a consequence which is perhaps the worst. One where a person takes his/her own life in hopelessness. Thinking this is the answer, This is the solution.This is for the best

In the depth of sadness, when there is no hope left.
We muslims know, that ending our life now is not the easy way, its the way for eternal unhappiness

In the depth of darkness, when there is no sign of hope
We see the light anyways, just from the knowledge we have of his mercy.

 Alhamdulillah

What will happen to Saad?

Today I just want to tell you a story of two little boys
Lets call them Ahmed and Saad, Ahmed was always very good to his mother, he humbled himself, when he didn’t understand her decisions, he tried to but then if he still can’t he would accept that she is wiser and knows whats best for him, even when she wouldn’t give him something he really wanted he learned to remain patient and not complain, he smiled and always thanked her. When mom made a decision that was really hardfor him or punished him, he still remained patient. This is how he was taught and how he grew up, practicing humility, patience and gratitude

On the other hand was Saad, he was also a nice boy but he was always complaining about what she didn’t give him, always argued his point, raising his voice. He always felt she treats him the worst. Any slight discomfort, long ride, can’t go there, have to visit someone, getting bored, and he would start whining, complaining. As he grew he would often say “I already know that” think that his mother doesnt’ know anything. and so on… He never practiced humility with her, never truly showed gratitude to her

When Ahmed grew up, faced the hardships of life, he already knew how to be patient, he had practiced that. He could humble himself before others and above all, he could humble himself truly before Allah(swt), he knew what it means to show gratitude, not just by words by actions, he had plenty of practice in it with his mother, so it was was for him, When he didn’t understand certain laws of Allah(swt) he didn’t argue, he tried to understand, but accepted that Allah is wiser than me. All because he had already not just learned but practiced all this in his childhood with his mother, the one who comes after Allah and the Prophet.

What do you think happens to Saad? Are these things as easy for him?

No wonder Allah(swt) has made kindness to you, our mothers a condition for us to enter Jannah, clearly without it we are hardly prepared to enter Jannah

So no, its not just for the mother’s sake that we need to be good to her, it is ONLY for the sake of Allah, and so that we can be good muslims, and enter paradise.

Who is teaching children about parents?

Many years ago, children learned much of their morals,not just in books, or from parents, but from watching the entire society. Watching neighbors, friends, uncles and aunties, but today especially for children growing up in west that mode of education, practical demonstrations of what the books say, is very little to nil.

The prior generations were learning all kinds social skills living in closely knit societies. Today, it can take us weeks to even contact our cousins and grandparents.

Thinking back to my own childhood, I wonder how many facts of life, emotional cues, morals, and much more I learned by just watching, my family members engage in all kinds of disputes, hardships, and what not…

I think just watching my aunt bargain was quite something to learn from!

Yes, today a world of knowledge is open to us, we can insert all this knowledge in the children’s head and hope they will be even better than us. But is that enough????

Surely the next generation has access to more information and knowledge than any before, but I wonder if they will ever have in themselves or even have access to half the wisdom that the prior generations had.

Truth is that today even adults cannot digest knowledge they are learning. That’s why all around us we see coaching of this or that. What is coaching? A coach is really taking the theoretical knowledge and teaching you slowly, step by step, how to apply it in your life.

Today there are thousands of parents constantly researching , attending parenting skills classes.

What about the children though? Doesn’t their need to be a greater effort in teaching children how to be good daughters and sons?

How can we just tell them a hadith, or ayah, or tell the to obey us and then expect them to know what exactly they are suppose to do and do it!

It’s not fair

Yesterday, I am sure it was enough to just tell them and they would follow, because actually they were not just following the words, they were following the examples they had seen all around them.

Today they hear the words, and see their friends curse their mothers, see every tv show presenting mother as critical figure, a burden, someone you just want to get away from, someone who wants to control you. They see their friends using similar attitude towards parents.

As one sister recently pointed out to me, that every disney movie, either shows that the mother is dead, or needs to be saved, and so on…

Who is talking about the importance of mother? Who is showing them how to honor her?

Ofcourse your own example helps immensely. But its far from enough.

They can easily forget it as, well you are another generation.
You are not dealing with same things I am” etc

I am reminded of a video I made a while back called “Why didn’t Allah(swt) email Quran?” In that we talked about the fact that just knowing the Quran was never enough for us, thats why Allah(swt) gave us his message and the messenger, who demonstrate to us, showed us, how to apply the message. Just as the quran, that example also has been been passing down for centuries, within ourselves, our manners, our behaviours, and even some of our traditions. Unfortunately though it is disappearing slowly ….

My point is, it is not enough to just tell the children to obey parents, give them hadith and Quran and expect that they will. It has to be broken down, step by step, issue by issue for them. What does it actually mean to honor your mother? Why can’t I argue my point of view with full force? Whats wrong with saying its unfair all the time? Aren’t I suppose to fight for whats fair? So why can’t I fight with my parents? Respect is earned, my parents haven’t earned my respect. Why can’t I talk back to my mother, all my friends do? Infact I am much better in the way I talk to you. Why do I have to respect you? I don’t owe you anything, you had a child, you have to raise me. What’s me doing a chore got to do with honoring you?

They know Islam demands honor to the mother, they know they owe you, but hardly any of the children have ever really reflected on how much honor and why you deserve it. They haven’t even reflected on what you have done for them. So then they look at your faults and assume, “you are not a good parent, you don’t deserve my good treatment, we are even now.” This is a clear sign, that the child never truly understood the enormous sacrifices of the mother, and why Islam teaches us that we can never pay her back? Why are her actions, so much higher then yours? Whats the difference in our intentions?

Here are some more examples demonstrating the confusion of their thought process due to lack of understanding

 

Probably of all the relationships, a person has, the one with the mother, is the one, which is farthest from the status it has & the status it is given, it is the one that is most taken for granted.

But once again, I find it hard to blame the children, and I am not even blaming the parents. I blame myself as a teacher, we the teachers need to do a better job in educating children.

Sure, we cannot change the entire society and we also cannot just give up. So what do we do? We need to do for children, what adults have already figured out for themselves, we need to coach them to apply the knowledge.

Not just tell them or give them hadith. But go deeper into their physcology, go deeper into their everyday issues, find out what is stopping them, what are the excuses they are using, how exactly is shaitan trapping them, and solve the problem there.

We need to also COACH them to be better sons and daughters.

Don’t just tell them, but be creative about how to tell them

Don’t just show them the hadith, but understand it with depth yourself first and then help them understand it with the same depth.

Stop insulting the intellect of children by just telling the or commanding them, help them understand.

Not being able to simply things to help them understand is nothing but a shortcoming in our intellect not theirs. To be able to simplify things for children we need to go to an even deeper depth and understand the hadith’s and ayahs, even better, than we would for adults. Go down below all of the complexity of the statement and find the simplicity. Then teach it to the children.

Unfortunately what we find is quite the opposite, we often think, oh children we can just teach them basics and they are not capable of understanding any more than that. NO! They are, shortcoming is of our intellect not theirs.

Its totally doable, and InshaAllah we will do it.

And once we do raise our own standards, we will see the children respond and see a generation of children bringing back the highest of examples of honoring their mothers. And inshaAllah they will then become inspiration for others around them.

My Guide to My Mother’s Heart video program  is my first step in going deeper and coaching children, to be better sons and daughters to their parents.

Last year I completed my accreditation to be a counselor and and past few months  I have been working on this program.  I often found myself struggling with issues, to get the answers for the kids, breakdown the excuses such as the ones above. Every time I started on a video topic  I felt like I have entered a jungle and I had to clean it all up to reach the simplicity and explain to the children, address the root of the matter.

Alhamdulillah I am glad I did, as not only has it helped me bring our a better result but made me a better daughter too.

May Allah(swt) put barakah in it and inspire the children through it. Ameen.

4 FUNDAMENTALS OF TEACHING CHILDREN TO HONOR THEIR MOTHERS

I think 4 things are necessary to help children in improving their behavior towards their mothers

1. Understand her

They need to understand her better, and try to empathize with what she is going through day by day and how their actions and words can affect her

2. Know her status that Allah has given her and Why

They need to understand not only how high she is but also why they must give her that honor and respect.

InshaAllah if they begin to understand the WHY, shaitan will not be able to deviate them with excuses. Often we hear questions such as I don’t owe them anything. Its their job to raise me. This just shows that, even though they knew, but they never truly understood what they owe their mother and what is her status. And since their understanding was weak, it was easy for shaitan to deceive them

3. Inspiration

Children today don‘t have reference,esp among their peers on how we should behave towards our parents.  Infact often their peers maybe even worse, so they think what I am doing is okay. We also often just accept disrespect and hence for all these reasons and more, our standards have just become really low.
They NEED Inspirational examples from the true stories of the righteous people, the companions and the Prophets, to raise their standards. Have  a reference of what it really means to honor your parents.

4. How to?

Children often can’t figure out what are the exact steps they need to take to honor their parents. Even when they want to honor their parents, they don’t always know exactly what that entails. What steps do I need to take? Is cleaning my room enough? Does it also mean that I have to stay quite if i feel mom is being unfair? Shouldn’t I fight her for whats fair? Does it also mean I shouldn’t let anger fester in my heart about my mom? What if I feel I know more than her? What does it mean to lower the wing of humility? They don’t automatically link being responsible in their homework or Salah or their chores to being good to you. We need to go deeper into these actions, the dos and don’ts of honoring your mother.

 

This is the foundation of what I have covered in the My guide to my mother’s heart video program. Each video fits into one or more of the 4 categories above. They are about understand the mother, empathising with her, knowing her status, understanding why we owe her so much, being inspired by the stories of great men, and last every single video is calling for an action, or answers a very common question children and especially teens may have. There is no video in there, which is just there without any purpose.

 

And lastly why is it so important
Their success in both this dunya and akhira depends on it.

 

If they can’t thank you and honor you today, when you are in front of you doing everything for them, then how ill they thank Allah(swt) whom they can’t even see??

 

If they can’t humble themselves towards you then how will they towards Allah(swt)?

 

If they can’t be patient with your decisions that deep down they know are right, then how will they be patient with the will of Allah(swt)?

 

If they can’t leave their desires for you, then how will they for Allah(swt)??
Serving you as they grow up, is in many ways a practice ground for them to serve Allah(swt)

 

We need to teach them to honor you, their mother, serve you, not because of your happiness, but so that they can attain the pleasure of Allah(swt)

 

This program has the potential to truly change the direction of any child’s life, completely transform the way they act with you and look at you. This is one program which can InshaAllah bring you lifetime of happiness and bring you even closer to your children .
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Dreams of paradise…..

Sitting on the bus back home from Melbourne after attending a weekend long course on, study of heaven and hell.
I have tears in my eyes, tears that I find hard to control, most likely anyone who saw me must think, poor Muslim woman.

Little do they know though, that these tears are THE most precious to me today. For so long I have wished for them to come back.

Life had taken over me, I was consumed by the peace and happiness,m that my Lord granted me, lacking severely in gratitude. Everyday I feared for my soul, feared as I could feel my heart harden,slowly slowly, one atom at a time, everyday, every hour

This weekend, away from home, I spent mostly forgetting all those everyday tasks that consumed me, and beautifully being reminded of my home , my real home, my home forever…

These tears are not of sadness. These are tears of hope. These are tears from the eyes that are although seeing a world today but it suddenly seems so small, so ordinary, so meager. Today all hardships seem small compared to the pleasure that lies ahead. Today these tears are from the eyes that seem to be looking at streets outside the window, but in reality they are seeing a dream, a vision, an image of the most glorious day of Eid in Jannah.

These are tears that desperately ask questions, Will you be pleased with me my Lord? Will I be one of those you invite on the day of Eid in Jannah?
Will I o Al Wadud, be there among them when you show your face? Will I see you ya rabbi? Will you say you are pleased with me ya Rabi? Will I get to hear your voice filled with love for me?

These tears are of a longing, longing for that day Allah swt lets me enter his Jannah. All that I will see, All those I will finally meet!!!! Oh how long do I have to wait for that day! I feel as only today I actually understand how much his dunya truly is a prison for the believer.
I feel like tht child who just couldn’t wait for the day of Eid to come, so s he could get the gift she wanted for so long. Not that she is unhappy today or complaining for today but she knows what lies ahead in that day is so much better than today. When will that day come! When will that day come!

But there is also fear in these tears , fear of losing this dream, fear being the one thrown in the fire, fear of not ever seeing you ya rab, fear of your anger ya Rab. It feels unbearable today to imagine meeting you and finding you displeased, o my constant provided, protector, healer, O my Rabb. Ya Allah the punishment of the fire doesn’t shatter my heart as much as just the the thought of being the one kept from seeing you forever.
As I go back home I fear that once again life will consume me and I will forget these dreams and once again the heart will begin to harden, forgetting the reality,getting lost in the illusion.
Ya Rabi, let me remember this pain every time I come near the sin.
Ya Allah, let me never forget the image of the day of Eid, that my teacher painted in my heart and mind.
Ya Allah let me never lose hope to be one you smile at everyday when I come to my eternal home, to see you twice everyday!
Ya Allah keep my heart close to you forever
Ya Rabi, make righteousness easy for me and sins difficult for me.
Ya Allah please never let me lose this longing to see you and fear of your displeasure, only make both stronger.
Today I understand more than ever before Jibreel alahisalaam statement when he saw Jannah,
‘No one who hears of it will fail to enter it’

and the more i come closer to home the more i fear, what he said when he came back to Jannah, this time surrounded with difficulties – ‘no one will enter it’

Ya Allah give me the strength to be patient just one hour for an eternity of happiness and peace in your company.

you only did all this for me because it is your job as a parent

Sometimes teens in arrogance or ignorance feel/say to parents, “you only did all this for me because it is your job as a parent”

And YEP! they are right, it is a parents job, given to them by Allah(swt).

But when Allah(swt) gave them that job, he also gave you(the child) a job as well, to HONOR your parents, respect them, be kind to them, bend down to them out of mercy, as long they don’t ask for anything tht is not against the law of Allah(swt)

They did their job, what about you?

And if you feel they did a bad job, then that’s on them.
And if you did a bad job, that’s on you – NOT on them.

Some parents can truly be very unjust to their children.
No doubt about that, but even then. Then perhaps we cannot obey them, or even love them as much as we could have. BUT, nothing should still stop us from showing mercy to them.

If the Prophet Muhammad(saws) can be kind to Abu Lahab
If Musa(alayhisalaam) can go and talk to Firaun with gentleness,then really there is no excuse for a child to not talk to the parent with kindness.

 

Moreover, we often mistakenly think that our kindness to our parents is because we are paying them back.

NO! We try our best in honoring our parents because Allah ordered it!

It should ONLY be for the sake of Allah(swt).

When we teach children to honor their parents for the sake of Allah then such statements or questions won’t even have a place in their minds

More discussion on this and how to teach children to honor their mother in the upcoming webinar –

here is the link to join

(Please note, this is webinar is for mothers of older children 8-15, if you have younger children this may not be for you. )

Mom I don't understand any of this

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Pillars of good Akhlaq

Good Akhlaq. Where does it come from? Its  not and should not be just ‘our love’ for the other person. I think we all know thats just not going to work out! (Especially when the smoke starts to come from our ears lol)

Good akhlaq has to come from our love and our fear of Allah(swt). It has to be for the sake of Allah.

Personally I don’t see any other way I can continue to be kind, generous and forgiving to ‘ALL’ people.

I don’t know how to control my anger at times except for the fear of Allah and hope of his mercy to me.

I don’t know how to be patient with some extremely…… people, except for remembering that Allah(swt) is patient with me all the time, hoping for his mercy and fearing his punishment if I were to lose my patience

I don’t know how to not yell and blast out at someone who has been unjust to me, except for Tawaqul, my trust in Al Wali,  remembering that Allah(swt) is the master of the day of judgment, He is Al Haq, The Just One

I have no idea how to help out that friend in her time of need, who so deeply offended me just a little while ago, there is only one reason that can motivate me to do so, the hope for the mercy of Allah, the hope for his forgiveness and gratitude for his gifts.

Why would I want to keep quite even when I know what my parents are saying is actually wrong, except remembering the mercy and patience my Lord shows me every single day. The humility I feel every time I bow down to him, knowing the million times I was wrong and he showed me mercy.

When the mother says get a glass of water in the middle of your favorite tv show, why would you get up? Perhaps because of gratitude you feel towards her, but what if just before that she yelled at you? Would you be able to feel that gratitude? Probably not so much now. But the most powerful gratitude is the gratitude towards Allah(swt), and that power may help you get up.   Or even perhaps the fear of his punishment on ignoring mother, might help forget all about the momentary enjoyment of that tv show.

The power of this love for Allah, the gratitude we feel towards him, gives us the power, the motivation to keep giving our best to the people around us.

Our love for people can run out, but our love for Allah (swt) should NEVER run out, this is the most powerful love we can ever feel. This is the love that gives us the strength to be merciful to all others, even when our love for them runs out.

The fear of Allah(swt) stops us, when our desires start becoming bigger just too much

Our trust in Allah(swt) helps us have patience and forgive those who we feel have angered us, whether it maybe a grave injustice or  a small one like he broke my toy or he said she said such and such about me  :). We know he is always watching and he will give me justice, so I forgive hoping for his mercy to me and leave the justice to him.

Good akhlaq to people  is simply generosity. As the Prophet (saws) taught us, smile is charity.

So are the kind words to those who offend us and so is our silence quite in anger.

Generosity clearly is a form of mercy for the people. We show mercy in hopes of mercy from Him and in gratitude of mercy from Him(swt)


Knowledge (3)

To summarise

Trust in Allah, Gratitude, Fear of Allah and Hope in Allah

Brings about mercy in our hearts, making us generous to others

Our mercy and generosity to others is what makes us Patient and forgiving to them.

Our humility towards Allah(swt), humbles us towards people

These fundamentals of our emaan, are the pillars on which our Akhlaq stand.

Build them in children, then remind them of that as you teach them Akhlaq

Good Akhlaq is not just for the sake of having good akhlaq.

These pillars are power sources of good Akhlaq. Good Akhlaq should only be for the sake of our love for Allah.

But there is something even more crucial, on top of which these pillars sit. What is it?

Knowledge!

Knowledge is what will build these pillars, and as they build, beautify them with by building beautiful akhlaq

Keep raising the pillars higher and higher to reach the highest of the levels in Jannah 🙂

Further on this and teenagers next InshaAllah…

Leave your comments below if you find it beneficial, I would love to hear what your thoughts InshaAllah 🙂