Researchers at Oxford university have discovered one single factor that can double the chance of your children developing anxiety and depression
It is bad sibling relationships
The researchers suggested that 13.0% of depression and 19.3% of self-harm could be explained by being the victim of sibling bullying
Sibling bullying on an average was found to have started at the age of 8
Words hurt a lot more
People might often ignore the name calling, the frequent mocking, or treating other like a nuisance, thinking its “NORMAL” “They don’t mean it”
But these are exactly what researchers found to be the most common type of bullying and main causes of deep negative impact on the children, who had internalised the pain of being constantly abused by their siblings
How many scars are left in the hearts of your children by the words they hear from their sibling?
Is it worse hearing such words of disrespect, mocking from a stranger or from a sibling?
I am sure, you yourself may have experienced this at times, seemingly minor statement or joke from someone else that stabbed your heart, or damaged your self esteem.
Imaging living everyday like this?
Things to check in your children for growing negative impacts of bullying:
- Is there a shift in behavior?
- Is the child feeling unmotivated, tired?
- Are they more angry then before? More agitated?
- Confidence and self esteem not developing
- Is the fighting increasing and becoming more vicious?
- Grades falling, getting more anxious?
- Having trouble making friends? Feeling more shy than usual?
Our relationship with our siblings is the longest relationship and insha’Allah can be the strongest relationship we have in our life
Islam puts great importance in this relationship, puting it right after our parents
It is critical to help your children develop a healthy and strong relationship with each other. Ofcourse much of how they are going to be with each other depends on your parenting skills.
However there are a few things children can be and should be taught
- Empathy for each other
- Conflict resolution , so they can resolve their conflicts in a healthy manner
- Value of a sibling in their life
- Status and reward of maintaining this relationship
- Importance of seeking peace in a family even if it means compromising
- Islamic virtues of forgiveness, mercy and generosity towards your siblings
- Steps from sunnah to increase love in their hearts for each other
- Role models from the greatest stories of companions and the prophets
This is a powerful, much needed class for children which is much needed in today’s times to give children the tools and knowledge to overcome the challenges they are facing
This is the kind of classes and islamic education our children need today, giving them practical advice from the Quran and sunnah to help them be best friends for life
If you are interested, here is the link for more information on this online class